The Holiday Season is upon us. Tomorrow morning is the end of this year’s crescendo of night. It comes at about 4:00 AM in the West. The tilt of the Earth, away from the Sun, reaches its maximum, Sun-tilt-wise. And thanks to our superstitious traditions, it is a time of holidays.
FESTIVUS. A holiday for the rest of us. It has an ancient and immemorial tradition, arising in the last millennium around 1990-something. This date, in California Years, is long ago in these fleeting ages. Even enough to merit its own column on Jeopardy!
Sadly, Festivus does not appear to be symbolized by its own hat. I offer one below as a candidate.
As we know, Festivus is a time for the Airing of Grievances. Our American Young Pretender and his bride dwell in the faraway Land of Cali. They have recently aired their Grievances in a traditional SoCal manner, that is, in a Netflix documentary. Good onya, mates!
The Young Pretender is indeed a noble smoothie of the gentry, his Windsor breeding and his SoCal roots.
The Windsor side is just as dodgy as the Cali side. The Royal Family were once known as scions of the von Krautenhausen lineage, but changed their name, like any good California, to not sound so…well, you know.
So, this Solstice, hats off to the Windsors for a smashing good show at Festivus! The weather will be good for erecting the aluminum pole for Lilibet and Archie to dance about, and new Royal Cali traditions shall be made.
Good cheer to all!
And A Hot New Offer
For this Festivus, give your loved ones an official Desert Festivus NFT! It’s easy! Any of the artwork seen on this Substack is available (where legally permitted) as a Festivus NFT! Simply leave a name in the comments below, and a promise to try to pay me something for the artwork - and you can claim that it’s yours!
Coming soon…actual property in the Simpson’s backyard! You can own a piece of Springfield! Entitles you to call yourself Lard of Springfield! (Traditional term for Springfield landed gentry.) Gift a givie to the Lard Lady or Lard Lad on your Festivus resentment list, and I’ll send you a title if I get around to it!
And no Festivus is complete without Festivus Pole Ornaments. Unlike the Christmas Tree, the Festivus Pole is uncluttered by branches. Our traditional Festivus Pole ornaments are held tight with magnets!
Some say that magnets don’t stick to aluminum poles. But Festivus is chock-full of miracles! Magnets can stay on the pole, if you only believe that they can! They will! It’s a Festivus miracle!